Introducing: Romulus Marshall!

By Romulus Marshall

We at Muslimsdoitbetter.com would like to introduce you to our newest blogger, Romulus Marshall. You'll laugh, you'll cry, it's like eating a pie.

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Authorities located 4 legs and various “other body parts” of two conspirators who were in the midst of planting a bomb near a checkpoint.   Not surprisingly, missing from the various “other body parts” were a pair of brains.  As serious as the situation in Pakistan is, there is a copious amount of irony in this situation, and here at Muslimsdoitbetter  –  that always begs further dissection. 

  

Now I understand it’s hard to find good help these days, but hell, even McDonald’s trains its employees on how to handle hot coffee.  You’d think that a terrorist group planning all these intricate attacks can muster up some sort of detonation manual or training program for its members, or at least have some basic minimum qualifications, but it seems like the only requirement is “desire to blow shit up”.   This seems to be a common theme amongst terrorists – attracting members whose IQ is in stiff competition with the IQ of a potato and who subscribe to the generally flawed ideals of “Death to the West”, “Universal Sharia Law”, “Repeal Gender Equality”, and my favorite (channeling some serious Braveheart here) “OPPRESSIOOONNN!!!!!”  Yes, those same members who are out there running around with angry faces and scary beards yelling strange words in foreign languages with odd combinations of regional ethnic wear fashioned with off-color military fatigues and sandals holding unnecessarily large assault rifles who like to terrorize everyone else every chance they get in the name of Islam. 

Too all you silly terrorists out there - you seriously need to do EVERYONE a favor and just STOP.  Do something you might be good at.  Like what you say?  How about Fashion Design so you can get your buddies some cool threads!  Perhaps even Video Games - you can start a Call of Duty club (you’ll love that shit!) Or if you really want to just keep blowing yourselves up you can be a Landmine Locator – I hear the worker’s comp program sucks, but the adrenaline rush is to die for!!!  All I’m saying is that you should just cut your losses and find some other shit to do before it blows up in your face...