By Alison Royer
I recently tried to figure out what a Muslim is and I was
surprised by my findings. THEY'RE NOT
ALL TRYING TO KILL US! My misconceptions
brought me some hope and I thought perhaps I should go on to deflate some
common misperceptions about Americans! I
did a little research in order to fully understand how we are viewed by the
rest of the world. I hope that my
investigation brings us one step closer to peace.
#1 Americans are fat.
Ah ha ha ha ha. See? This is so silly! Stop judging the forest by the trees you
crazy Muslims! Fat?! Ugh…I get it.
You're talking about this, this and this. Why don't you open your minds Muslims! That's not all we're about! As a nation, we are fit and realistic about
body image.
#2 Americans are a gun loving, violent culture. Whoa Muslim friends! Take it easy!
Those are big words coming from a bunch of terrorists! Wait…sorry, that came out wrong. Obviously you're not all terrorists. You are a peaceful community that is
misunderstood by the outside world. Well
Muslims, we are too. We don't all love
guns ok? Quite frankly, you have nothing
to back that up.
#3 Americans are arrogant, boastful and think of
themselves as "The World's Police."
HOW DARE YOU! WE ARE FIGHTING
FOR YOUR FREEDOM. YOU'D ALL BE DEAD IF
IT WASN'T FOR US! YOU'RE WELCOME!
Phew…wow…ok, I can see that things got a little out of hand
there. But it's hard when you're
FIGHTING FOR PEACE! I just want us to be
happy Muslim world! I'm not great at
relationships but I'm going to try harder.
You are important to me. Please
don't murder me and my family. Ugh... I
love you Muslims.
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